Doctors from the Dwarf Planet

Updated: Sep 7, 2020

No doubt that the doctors should have a good sense of humour. It definitely helps the patient to relax. But a few make it humorous just by their appearance while others by their wits.

Annual Medical check up was compulsory in the forces. A few years back, while in IAF, I was caught with a slightly higher cholesterol level - not anywhere near the high for the civil standards but just a little higher than the top notch as per the military standards. I was referred to a specialist, to get counselling to adapt few lifestyle changes. There I was, at the door of the specialist, in a highly reputed hospital in the armed forces. I walked in and sat down. The doctor started his counselling session. 'Do you exercise regularly?' 'Yes, I do. I play basketball regularly' I replied. 'Ok. Don't smoke' came his next advice, while he desperately tried to hide a Wills cigarette packet on the table with his prescription pad. 'I don't smoke' I replied. 'Good. Don't drink heavily' next item from the counselling check list. The image of him walking fully drunk in the many station parties we used to have, flashed in my mind. 'I do drink, but very occasionally.. only with some guests at home' I was honest enough. 'That is ok. Don't eat fried food.' he said this, with a hope that I will not refute. 'I hate fried items, I don't eat oily food'. Next advice in the list did surprised me. 'Ok. you need to reduce weight'. I tried desperately to control my laughter. I was lean and thin - always remained a notch below the median of the weight chart. On the contrary, the doc was a bit shorter than me, but was close to the three figures weight mark. I looked at him with a bit of amusement He was sitting just on the other side of the table and his big tummy, just like that of a sumo wrestler, stretching his uniform shirt to the maximum, and partly resting on the table. Few buttons off his shirt about to break off. Having understood the meaning of my look, he signed the counselling sheet quickly and added. 'Okk.. you continue doing what you are doing'.

Another incident, a recent one, from a quick wit doctor. As part of a routine annual check up, I met this doctor a few months ago. He checked my resting pulse and it was at the bottom range as it was always. 'Are you a sportsman?' That was a question that I could answer without any hesitation. 'Yes.. I have been running 10 kms every day for the past two months' I replied with a puffed up chest. 'Oh, I see. Why are you running this much? No need. It won't do any good to the health' saying this he narrated one of his friend's story. Apparently, he had a friend, who used to go for 5 kms run everyday. That routine continued for many years. During his routine run on an early morning, he was knocked down by a speeding truck, killing him on the spot. So young man, you run or not does not matter. Everything depends on the fate'.

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